when i moved i missed this place ardently
so much of me is rooted in this house
my grandfather built these walls
and sometimes i'd hear them whisper
echoing his toodle-oo's
my mother was raised here
her courage and inner strength discovered
a love and marriage born here
i was raised here
through all the ups and downs
i became a good person
who i used to be
this home used to signify so many special memories
graduations, our pets, my brothers
it's where i met my best friend
and created a bond with my mother that was missing
where i came to understand my father better
it meant so many things to me
and now
i hate this place
it stirs in me the wounds only just scarring over
and those that are still raw
it fills me with a gnawing hollow
that i've been running from
it empties me
i've turned my home into just a house
filled with haunted memories
and broken futures
i've ruined my home
and tinged my past with a heavy sadness
some days i don't think i can carry the weight anymore
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